Is there something wrong with me?

Today I have turned 40. To some that is old. To others it is young. I prefer to say I am 40 years young today. What a baby I am! I must admit I have an unusual opinion about aging. I love it. I can't wait for it. I hear from others that there is something wrong with me. It sounds bizarre, I know, but that is how I feel. When I turned 20, I had some of the best friends a girl could ever have, and I still love them all. I got married to a wonderful, adventurous man in my 20's, and I learned to paraglide. Who would ever think that I would someday run off of a mountain, and enjoy it? I went to school and became a cosmetologist, and then became an instructor. I learned more than I taught, which is saying something. I also made more friends that I truly admire. I also had more sadness in those years than I care to think about. It is hard not being able to have children like most of the people you know, but even that has made me who I am.

When I turned 30, I was relieved. Wacky, yes, but true. I couldn't wait to be done with my 20's. I thought my 30's would be much more fun. I don't think that was the case in general, but there were many fun things that happened in the last 10 years. I do have to say that for me the most life changing things (so far) have happened in my 30's. I finally became a parent to a challenging but wonderful daughter. I learned to scuba dive. How many people do you know that can say they went scuba diving in Yellowstone Lake? I worked for a company I loved, and then had to leave for reasons beyond my control. (Being hospitalized, and then unable to move does that to a person.) I have had the opportunity to consider that someday I will die. Not something the average person wants to think about, right? I was never afraid of death until a few years ago. I am not afraid of it now, but there was a moment in time that it stunned me. Realizing that things were happening to me that could someday cause such an event was life changing for me. I was able to take stock of my life, and decide what I truly wanted to accomplish with the time I have been given on this earth. I am grateful for that. (Please don't panic, and think that I am dying, I'm not. I was just forced into the realization that I could have had that result, if it wasn't for modern medicine. I have so much gratitude for doctors, nurses, and medication!)

I have made some truly wonderful friends in my 30's. Many of them are in their retirement years. Nothing is better for your perspective in life than to live in a community of people that have lived and loved almost twice your age. You forget that they are the age they are, because they are so full of life, and so fun! Then someone dies, or an ambulance arrives in the middle of the night, and you remember.

I love the idea of being able to look back at life and reminisce about your friends and family, the adventures you had, and the things you have learned. I love that I can tell my future grandkids that Michael Jackson was the coolest when I was in high school. (I know, I know. Things change.) I love that I will be able to marvel them with stories about how we used to ride in the car, and roll all over the place whenever there was a turn taken a bit too fast. We even rode down the freeway in the back of my dad's truck. (How did we survive to adulthood without being permanently injured or mangled? Ah, the danger of a childhood without seat belts.) Of how we never wore bike helmets, and had a stream in my backyard that wasn't fenced off to keep kids out of it. (Four and a half years in that house, and nobody drowned! Amazing.) There are so many fun things to look back on.

The more I live, the more grateful I am for the adventures I have had. Some have been more difficult than I would like, but they are the ones that mean the most to me. I appologize for the downer this may have caused you, talking about death, and all. To me it is a celebration of who I am becoming, and I am looking forward to my 40's with great excitement. I wonder what friends I will meet, and what things I will accomplish that I never thought I could do. I have earned every gray hair, wrinkle, and freckle, and I am proud to have them. I can't wait to see what happens next!

What happened to the primary colors?

Today is Miriam's birthday. She is 12. Doug isn't happy about it at all. He wants her to stay the same age, or younger if it were possible. I know how he feels. What happened here? She is 12, but we have only been parents for almost 9 years now. We missed the first 3 years, and it's amazing what a difference that makes in how ready you are for the growth and progression of your only child. We aren't ready for her to move on to Young Women's yet.

Miriam, on the other hand, is sooooo ready for this day. She has been counting down to it since we were sealed after her adoption. Ever since that day, she has wanted to be back in the temple, and she knows that she has to be twelve to have a recommend to do baptisms. She is so excited to move out of primary, and be able to have activities every week. I keep trying to tell her to enjoy the moment, because she will never be this age again. That is a valuable lesson in life. Enjoy where you are, because tomorrow will be different. I don't think she cares.

Last night, you would have thought that it was Christmas, and she still believed in Santa. I went in to say goodnight, and she was all wriggly, giggly, and happy. I just had to laugh. I remember being excited for 12, but not like this. It took her forever to go to sleep. When I went to wake her up, I sang 'Happy Birthday" to her. With her eyes still closed, her arms shot out and grabbed me and hugged me so tight, I almost fell over on her. She had a grin on her face from ear to ear, and she still couldn't open her eyes. I hope this isn't a let down for her, she seems to have ginormous expectations. Don't those things always end in tears? I am going to do my best to make it wonderful for her, and try not to think about the time we missed in the beginning of her life. I think I will spend the day reliving 12, too. Might as well have some fun, and maybe, just maybe, I can come to terms with this..... Happy Birthday to an incredible girl!

Grandpa's 90th

Last Saturday, my Grandpa turned 90 years old. Wow. I know. Who would ever think that both grandma and grandpa would still be here? I am glad they are. I love that Miriam gets to know her Great-Grand's as well as she does.

She calls great-grandpa Williams "the grandpa that taught her to put rocks in her pockets". The first time they met, she was wearing a cute little pair of yellow overalls, with lots of pockets. We were in Logan helping my parents build their house, and there were plenty of pretty rocks around. Great-grandpa came over to meet her, and explained that pockets were for keeping your most favorite rocks. She filled every pocket. To this day, 8 years later, I still find rocks in her pockets. Our poor washing machine.

We had a huge family party for him at the church in Dayton, ID. I think we doubled the city population. It is always so fun to see all my long lost cousins. Unfortunately, in the rush to get all the food we needed to the car with us, I forgot my camera. I had to steal a picture from my little sis. This picture is of my matriarchal sister, (I am trying to not say she is oldest) Vauna, and her eldest daughter, (yeah, I think that's better) Brianne, surrounding our cute grandparents. May they live long and prosper.